oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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