Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
