I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
