I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
