Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
