Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
what is it with giant penises always finding me
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
