Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
