i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
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