ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
its not stalking. its research.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
