who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
