Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
