those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
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