My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
