I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
