I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
