go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
