my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
