a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
