I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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