You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize