either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you win again, gameday.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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