i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
