He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I checked into jail on foursquare
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
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