we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
