this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
