Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
