Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
