I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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