summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
