Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize