Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
