ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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