I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize