Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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