Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
