Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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