I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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