On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You need a sexual gate keeper
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
