Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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