No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
