Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
