oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
