I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize