i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I am naked and annoyed.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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