i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
