what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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