there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
