You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
