i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
