Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
