Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
