We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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