I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
