Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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