We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
