so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
