And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You dont lie about slip and slides
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
