Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
