Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
