the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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